There is only one pitch.
- This is who we are.
- This is what we do.
- And we’re good at it.
- We have a challenge, born of opportunity.
- If we seize it, magic happens.
- Which benefits us all.
- We’re almost there.
- This is what we need.
- And this is what we’ll do with it, starting here.
June 11, 2010 at 12:57 pm
I once heard from a very wise man that one should always mention what you have already done/accomplished before you describe what it is you need. A new number 7 perhaps!?
M
July 30, 2010 at 11:53 am
Good point. I’ve added a new 7.
June 11, 2010 at 1:09 pm
9. And at the end of the day, this is what will change, and be improved
Another wise woman coined the “Van Rotterdam Question” around here:
To what end? aka TWE (pronounced: twee)
July 30, 2010 at 11:54 am
This is intended to be in #5, under ‘magic’.
June 11, 2010 at 2:16 pm
This is fantastic. Love it!
Point #4 strikes me as the pivotal element, in some ways…
One mentor of mine used to always tackle that one in terms of:
a) “What’s going well / where we’re kicking ass / doing awesome: _____________”.
b) “But the CHALLENGE or what’s not going so well is: ________________.”
c) “And so the OPPORTUNITY is: _______________.”
I like it because it starts with positive affirmation, then leads to a frank identification with pain / challenge — but then immediately frames that pain or challenge in terms of opportunity.
June 16, 2010 at 8:08 am
sorry it has taken me a while to post… just as everyone else, I really like it. the concluding tagline is a particular favourite.
the only thing that I might add has to do with its immediacy.
although it is implied, one word that doesn’t get used is ‘now’. I don’t want to be sounding cliched (or indeed suggest something that would mess with the cadence) but, for example, something along the lines of “starting here, right now” may give it a little more urgency. it may also counterbalance the aforementioned strong tagline; distillation is usually a gradual or even passive process. so without a clearly defined, anti-complacency qualifier there is the potential that the entire concept becomes somewhat diminished.
makes sense? or splitting hairs?
January 18, 2011 at 8:08 am
7. We have a challenge, born of opportunity.
I’m tempted to put it the other way round.
January 18, 2011 at 8:33 am
Interesting twist. In the current structure the challenge is what needs to be solved by us to realize the opportunity. In your phrasing the challenge becomes the opportunity; the market problem we can solve. Dumps the issue of our challenge onto ‘this is what we need’. Makes it more than just a resourcing line.
May 15, 2011 at 8:20 am
Here’s what I got.
Here’s what it will do for you.
Hete’s what I want you to do next.
Pitch in a pinch, (i) inspired by Frank Kern
January 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Wondering if the above is inclusive enough of the funder’s interests. If it brings them into the narrative. Going to ponder.
January 17, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Here is my reaction to your question…
8. This is why we need you.
9. And this is what we’ll do together, starting here.
M
January 17, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Good tweaks. Wondering if it’s still universal or if it becomes tailored to a specific type of relationship. And is that a bad thing? Are those relationships the right ones and therefore what should be baked into the narrative?
January 17, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Well that is how I remember you presenting this initially. This is not positioning, it is a scaffold upon which you can build the specific language needed to engage the right people for the right purpose.